


Different Ways to Say "I Love You"

by crescendmoon



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: A self-indulgent love confession on Valentine's Day fic, Hanzo has it rough, M/M, Starts out sad but don't worry there's a happy ending, a very brief mention of suicidal thoughts on Hanzo's part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 15:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescendmoon/pseuds/crescendmoon
Summary: How Jesse's feelings for a certain archer went from hatred to love. Said archer needs a little more help processing everything.





	Different Ways to Say "I Love You"

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the idea behind this fic came to me with help from [MikoMiyoko](https://mikomiyoko.tumblr.com/), so I'm dedicating this fic to them! <3  
> I apologize if this fic is too sickingly sweet and fluffy, but I can't help indulging myself >w>  
> I hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Jesse stared down at the item in his hands. He wasn’t sure if it was considered to be _too much_ for a Valentine’s Day gift, but the rectangular box wrapped in lovely cherry blossom paper basically beckoned at him the day he waltzed into a Japanese grocery store he happened to come across the day before. Inside the box were six carefully placed taiyaki; he recalled Hanzo making an innocent comment to Hana one night that these fish-shaped sweets were his favorite snacks when he was growing up, and when he saw them he knew he had to buy it.

But then his palms began to sweat and his heartbeat became erratic. Would Hanzo even accept the gift? He was well aware that Hanzo wasn’t a huge fan of his presence, considered him to be loud and annoying whenever he wished for peace and quiet. The first time they met wasn’t exactly a happy occasion, either. When Genji returned to Gibraltar and everyone gathered to welcome him back to the reformed Overwatch with open arms, no one expected him to bring his brother along; the same brother that almost killed him that night. The same brother that made Genji the way he was. Winston and Tracer were visibly uncomfortable, as if they weren’t sure how to go about welcoming the new face. Torbjorn couldn’t care less, so long as the ‘young lad’ didn’t slow them down. Angela, oh boy, she refused to speak to Hanzo for a good two months, only doing so when she absolutely had to, and even then everyone could sense the amount of venom in her voice. And Jesse? He was livid and unlike Angela, he didn’t give two shits about keeping his feelings quiet. He told Hanzo off; demanded to know how someone could do that to their own brother; yelled straight to his face that if the man so much as twitched in any of his friends’ directions that he wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet between his eyes himself.

His views changed one night, after returning from a mission that went array. Hanzo had gotten injured by an enemy sniper and was taken to the med bay, where Angela quietly and swiftly fixed him back up to pique condition. She told him he needed to stay in the med bay for the night, and after that he could leave. Her voice was stiff and to the point, and Hanzo just silently nodded. Jesse wasn’t even supposed to be walking the halls at the time, but his bouts of insomnia did him no favors. He happened to be walking by the med bay when he heard someone quietly sobbing. He dared to peek inside and saw Hanzo sitting up on one of the beds, looking down at his hands with quiet tears streaming down his cheeks. And being the ninja that he was, Hanzo glared at the entrance and demanded that whoever it was that was eavesdropping on him to go away. Jesse took a long swig of his cigarillo before he entered the med bay. Hanzo scowled at him as he walked closer, and when Jesse said nothing, he actually started to laugh. “Have you come to make me even more miserable than I already feel?” Hanzo spit out between clenched teeth. “You and everyone else have made their distaste for me known, but I would appreciate it if you gave me some privacy instead of eavesdropping.”

Jesse couldn’t help but ask why he was crying. Hanzo rightfully lashed out, asked why the hell McCree even cared after everything. Jesse didn’t have an answer, but before he left the room, Hanzo finally broke. “If only that sniper was better at aiming, then perhaps I could finally be at peace.” He whispered through newly formed tears. After that, Jesse tried not to think badly of Hanzo Shimada. When Angela still opted to ignore the man, Jesse pulled her aside to talk about it. He didn’t mention those words he heard Hanzo speak before he left the man alone, but he tried to at least see things from Hanzo’s point of view. He knew that Hanzo, as the first born, had plenty of responsibilities to the clan. He heard from Genji that if he were to refuse the clan’s demands, he would have most likely been the one with the cybernetic enhancements. Hanzo led a cursed life, one without any form of love and affection. And so Jesse did his best to save the man from his fate. He began to be civil, starting simple conversations and even joking; he considered it a personal victory when he finally managed to make Hanzo chuckle after days of trying. One night, when he caught Hanzo in the kitchen with a cup of tea, he brewed up some coffee and they chatted, and for the first time Hanzo actually seemed calm. Genji joined them soon after and they talked; when Jesse made a joke about Genji having a horrible taste in clothing and dance moves, Hanzo outright _laughed_. Jesse widened his eyes in shock before his mouth quirked up into a smile and laughed along with him, and when he noticed Genji glancing at him, he could swear that the cyborg was smiling from behind that visor.

Soon enough, it was like the two of them were inseparable. Hanzo actively sought out Jesse to spar against in the training room, and Jesse chose to sit with Hanzo during meals. They even spent hours together late into the night to talk about personal matters; he was sure that he had never spoken so much about his past with anyone before Hanzo came along, and soon enough, he felt…differently when around the man. Every time Hanzo called out his name, his heart fluttered and did a backflip. Every time Hanzo touched his shoulder or tried to tend to any injuries he received during training, his cheeks would flush a brilliant shade of red. He cursed under his breath when he realized what was happening.

The cowboy had it bad. He was head-over-heels in love with Hanzo Shimada, the man he originally despised and then befriended. He tried his best to hide his feelings, and yet somehow, Genji of all people figured it out. The cyborg, bless his heart, didn’t let Jesse hear the end of it. Whenever Jesse and Hanzo had an innocent conversation going, Genji would ‘accidentally’ bump into him and cause him to fall into Hanzo. Hanzo was far too busy yelling at Genji to be more careful to notice Jesse’s heartrate skyrocketing through his shirt. And god forbid Genji actually had his visor removed from his face, because every now and then the bastard would actually WINK at him. Jesse wasted no time in throwing whatever he had on hand at the green-haired menace, which caused Hanzo to look at them with a confused expression and everyone else to roll their eyes, used to their behavior around each other by now.

Which now brought him to present day, Valentine’s Day, still clutching onto his gift for the man he fell for. He never told Hanzo of his feelings, and he made sure Genji didn’t either. And for the first time in his life, he actually felt nervous about confessing his feelings.

As he was lost in his thoughts regarding how to handle the situation, he literally walked right into the man in question. Hanzo stumbled backwards, and Jesse shot out an arm to stabilize him.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Hanzo’s gaze drifted down to the box. “…Oh. I forgot that today was Valentine’s Day. If those are for my brother, I believe he is currently meditating with the omnic monk.” His nose scrunched up in mild disdain. Needless to say, Hanzo didn’t get along well with Zenyatta; every time the monk tried to tell Hanzo that he was being consumed by the same anger that Genji felt, it caused anger to overwhelm his common sense.

Jesse shook his head. “Naw, this ain’t for Genji. Uh…” He then thrust the box in Hanzo’s direction. “They’re actually for you.”

Hanzo rose his eyebrow as if Jesse had said something behind his comprehension. “You shouldn’t waste money on me, McCree. You should spend it on someone you actually love. That is what Valentine’s Day is about, is it not?”

Jesse removed his Stetson and scratched his head awkwardly. “About that. Uh…Geez, I wish there were an easier way to say this.” After a short while, he stared at the box that was now in Hanzo’s arms. “Ain’t ya gonna open it?”

Hanzo remained silent, and finally sighed as he carefully removed the paper from the box and opened it. His eyes widened at the taiyaki, and then stared up at Jesse as if expecting an answer.

So Jesse gave it. “I heard that these things were your favorite. Happened upon them during a stroll after one of our missions…thought you’d like ‘em.”

Hanzo’s eyes hardened, searching for something within Jesse’s eyes. “…Why would you do this?”

“Ain’t it obvious, Darlin’?” Jesse placed his hat above his heart. “I’m sweet on ya. Ever since we started talkin’, I noticed it. Sweetheart, I’m so in love with ya that I can’t stand it.”

Hanzo just stared at Jesse in silence, before his gaze turned into a harsh scowl. “…I know that you enjoy joking around, McCree, but this joke of yours is going too far.”

Jesse’s frustration grew. “I ain’t jokin’ around, Hanzo!” He grabbed Hanzo’s shoulders. “I would NEVER joke about this sorta thing. When I love someone, I cherish them; I would never hurt them by leading them on. Is that how you see me?”

Hanzo couldn’t speak. He tried to, but all that came out was a strangled noise before he fled, taking the box with him. Jesse just stared ahead, his expression pained like his heart had been ripped out and shattered on the floor. He walked back to his room in silence; when he closed the door behind him, he grabbed a bottle of whiskey, sat on his bed, and drowned his sorrows with alcohol.

A knock on his door woke Jesse, and it was then that he noticed the horrible headache he had. A fucking hangover, no doubt caused by the bottle of whiskey he downed in less than an hour the previous night. When he figured that the knocking wouldn’t stop, he growled and got up to open it.

Genji was on the other side, visor removed and nowhere on his person.

“…The hell do you want.”

Genji just rose an eyebrow and pushed himself into the cowboy’s room. “I see that you have had a rough night.”

Jesse scoffed. “What gave you that idea?”

“Just the fact that you look like you just woke up despite it being almost dinner time. Or that you’re wearing the same clothes as the previous day. Or that you wreak of alcohol.” Genji leaned against the wall. “What happened? I tried to talk my brother into meditating with me this morning, and he refused. I went to see if he wanted to join me for lunch, and once again he refused. Since you’re off just as bad, I suspect that _something_ must have happened between you two.” Genji tilted his head. “…Did you confess to him?”

Jesse let out a hollow laugh. “Oh boy, did I. And you know how he responded? With nothing. He just ran off; he didn’t even give me the decency of a _rejection_ , just up and left like a coward.” He held his head in his hands. “I…I’m in love with him, Genji. Fucking hell, I hate feelin’ this way. What he did hurt me, and yet I still can’t help but think about him. Not even the alcohol could help me forget…”

Genji listened intently before sighing. “I think…you shouldn’t give up, Jesse. My brother has little experience when it comes to love. He’s never had a real relationship; the closest he’s ever gotten was this girl that our father set him up with in the hopes of starting a family to continue the legacy. I could tell that while Hanzo cared deeply for the girl, he wasn’t in love with her. After what happened with me, Hanzo left the clan and never saw her again.”

“I don’t get why you’re tellin’ me this.”

Genji rolled his eyes. “I’m telling you that you came on too strongly. Hanzo’s brain probably short-circuited and his defense mechanism kicked in, which is why he left you without an answer.” He placed a hand on his shoulder. “Give him some time. Something tells me that your feelings aren’t one-sided.”

Jesse glanced at Genji. “And what makes you think that?”

Genji hummed. “Just a feeling I have.”

.

.

.

It had been a month since Jesse confessed his feelings; a month since Hanzo left his confession hanging. The archer couldn’t even stay in the same room as Jesse without making some excuse to leave, and it drove Jesse up the wall.

Fuck it, he didn’t care what Genji said. He didn’t even care what Angela said, he needed a fucking drink. This time he opted for some bourbon, and sat on his head with the bottle in one hand and a tablet in the other. He was looking at details for another mission when a knock at his door interrupted him. When he got up and opened the door, he was shocked for a moment to see Hanzo standing their awkwardly. Shock turned into anger, then to exasperation.

“…What do you want, Hanzo.”

Hanzo winced at the harsh tone, but didn’t back down. “I…I understand that you must be upset with me. For what I did.”

“Hit the nail on the head there, Darlin’.” Jesse drawled. “…Anythin’ else?”

Hanzo remained silent, and Jesse was growing more and more tired. “I ain’t got time for this—“

Before he could shut the door, Hanzo shot an arm out and barged in. “Hey, what in Sam Hill—“

“I’m sorry. For running from you…for not giving you a straight answer.” Hanzo clenched his fists as he stared into Jesse’s eyes. “You caught me so off guard that I didn’t know what to do. I know running wasn’t the best decision, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time.”

Jesse sighed. “You decided to run instead of giving me the honest to god truth? Jesus, Han, you could have rejected me! That would have been loads better than just leavin’ me hangin’.”

Hanzo’s breath hitched. “But…I didn’t want to reject you.” He mumbled. “I honestly didn’t think I was worth anyone’s time and effort that they would go out of their way to buy me something…especially on Valentine’s Day. When you handed me your gift, I thought you were playing some cruel joke on me.”

Jesse just stared at Hanzo in disbelief. “W-Wait, hold up. Back up again to the first thing you just said.”

Hanzo said nothing, which caused Jesse’s heart to ache once more. “…Please, Han…I deserve an answer. You talk ‘bout me bein’ cruel, but what you’re doin’—“

He didn’t get the rest of his sentence out. His lips were sealed quite literally, as Hanzo’s lips connected with his own. Jesse’s eyes widened, and for a moment he thought that he had died and gone to heaven. Hanzo’s lips were a little chapped, but still soft and felt so good against his. The moment was over all too quickly, but the blush creeping up on Hanzo’s face made up for it.

“…You’re very important to me, McCr…J-Jesse.” Hanzo muttered. “I’m sure you noticed by now that I’m not experienced in something like this, but…it took me a while to finally get over my embarrassment and actually seek you out once more.” He reached to grab Jesse’s hands and clenched onto them tightly. “I am, in your words, sweet on you, as well.”

Jesse stared at Hanzo with his mouth agape for a few seconds, before he immediately bent down to kiss Hanzo with so much desperation that he thought he would accidentally topple the smaller man over. He could feel Hanzo’s lips reciprocate and their facial hair rub against each other’s faces, sending a slight tickling sensation down their neck. Once they finally pulled apart, Jesse sent Hanzo a wide smile.

“Darlin’, I’ve been wantin’ to hear you say those words for so long, and boy does it sound so nice comin’ from your lips finally.”

They held onto each other for what seemed like hours before they finally pulled apart, both of their faces beet red, although Hanzo’s was probably more from embarrassment than Jesse’s.

“Ah, before I forget…” Hanzo reached into his shirt and pulled out a small little package, wrapped neatly in tinted plastic wrap and tied together with a ribbon. He then handed it to Jesse without a word.

“Aw, Sweetheart, you didn’t have to get me nothin’.” Jesse smiled, but took the present nonetheless and unwrapped it. Inside the package were individually wrapped pieces of chocolate and pink-colored marshmallows. Jesse’s eyes were brought back to Hanzo, who was shifting uncomfortably where he stood.

Hanzo finally spoke. “I made those for you, in my kitchen…it’s why you hadn’t seen me much around the base since Valentine’s Day.”

Jesse’s mouth hung open. “You…you _made_ these? Like, homemade?”

Hanzo chuckled. “That is what that means, yes.”

“…Well darn, now my gift just feels so inferior now.”

Hanzo caressed Jesse’s cheek, which Jesse leaned into. “Your gift was perfect in every way. I opted to eat one, but…” Hanzo actually _smiled_. “I realized that eating them without you just left an empty spot in my chest.”

If Jesse wasn’t so shocked at that moment, he would no doubt have just broken down in happy tears and kiss Hanzo all over his pretty face.

“Did you know, Jesse?”

Hanzo’s words broke Jesse out of his trance. “K-Know what?”

“In Japan, there is a second holiday quite like Valentine’s Day. It’s called White Day.” Hanzo unwrapped one of the chocolates. “Valentine’s Day is when girls give their crushes homemade chocolates, and White Day is when their crushes return the gesture with homemade sweets of their own.” He then held out the piece of chocolate out to Jesse. “Would you like to try one? I hope it meets your standards.”

Jesse graciously took the chocolate with his mouth, and let out a moan of delight. The chocolate tasted more delicious than any other kind of sweet he’s ever had in his life. He kissed Hanzo once more, which earned him a sigh of pleasure from the archer. Once they parted from each other, they fell into each other’s arms; it was as if their bodies fit perfectly together.

“So what does that make us, Darlin’?” Jesse chanced to ask. “I…I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. I meant what I said about lovin’ you…”

Hanzo leaned into Jesse’s form. “I know I’m not the easiest man to be around, but…I wouldn’t mind being together with you. If you’ll have me.”

That was all Jesse needed to hear before he set self-control to the wind and showered Hanzo in kisses. As they sat together on Jesse’s floor, they both were thinking the same thing.

 _I don’t know what I did to deserve you in my life, but I am happy to finally hold you in my arms._  


End file.
